Yeah boyeee.

No need to get the Thrasher Tragedy Issue, Baby Jo Jo pretty much scanned the whole thing for you.

100% blog diss.

Check out Navs, Cranston, Stashman (Conover) and Mallory on Fuel TV's "The Daily Habit" on Monday at 9pm. Also in attendance the Indie band Soft Caulk, those guys are great, right? Navs called me from the road when he was on his way to do this. The Fuel TV limo came to pick the dudes up and wouldn't you know it, almost everybody got so excited they puked in the limo. Everybody that is except for Ole Crow Hand, he's a god damn road veteran, he may puke in the corner of your local bar but never in the car, that's control.
Isn't it weird when you try and take a vacation from "skateboard stuff" and you go deep into Mexican riviera and the Zero team is there too? I didn't think so.

RIP
Jay Reatard

Condolences go to his family and friends.

-What ruled in 2009-
You guys
Us
Thrasher
The Skateboard Mag
Skateboarder
This blog.
Sexual Harassment training
Internet goons
H1N1
Not twittering anything, ever.
Navs work ethic
Hitz' sharpies
Final Cut Pro 7
Black Cobra
Hot Dog ads
Lowcard
The Trife
Dank Nuggz
Guzman
P-Stone
Baca
Rick and Buddy (Noah too)
Acid
Can Pipes
Quarter pipes
Embedded Videos
Intervention
BAKU
Wednsdays with Reda
Rhino
Hamknuckle
Hack Circles
HMC
Buena
Saints and Sinners
Gravette's spliff work
Indiana Crew
DAF
The Larb
The Cranny Pack
Mushrooms and Car Bombs
Vox
Ramona
Jumbo Scrillips
Widmannco LLC
Mar Mar Studios
Slappies
Whiskey
Brady's Yacht Club
Ping Pong championships
Going over budget
Grindline
Dreamland
"Going Scorsese"
Bratrud
Rowley
Making shitty tattoos
Getting shitty tattoos
The term "Beating Guts"
Grandpa's Park
Time traveling
Slap board avatars
and
As always, f*cking skateboarding...
See you next year.

I'm pretty ready to completely pile out holiday style... Here's this...And look who just got some nice photo incentive for their stockings... Have a nice f*cking Christmas and try not to kill yourself...

(eating too many cookies)

This kid again... And don't forget about the heavy Free Pizza party going down, they're moving quick... Amazing moose-stash Brendan, I heard they're making Young Guns 4, you should get in there. Heads up, 50 of the 666 are signed by Al P himself... Free Pizza suckers!

Head on over to Slap and check out Gravette's hot off the presses digi-interview...
Also, Today is the last day of The Big Push, thanks to all of you that voted for Shiner, we got our fingers crossed for you guys. I was checking out the trailer for this new video "Heel Toe Magic" by Andy Evans. This shit blew my mind, saw some UK creatures in there, check it...And trailer #2 Are you kidding me? D3 spaceship? Genius.

GO HERE AND VOTE TEAM SHINER YE FACKIN' POOFS

The Boardroom threw down a launch ramp jam a couple of weeks a go. Sh*t was a blast, and the entire night ended up being semi-magical. I stumbled across Keith's Flikr page and stole these shots... Classic Bone method! Young Clive won the "Cutest Shredder under 3" division... B-Lo Brandon was blasting cannonballs into outer space, KABOOM! And the master of ceremonies, TC, hey wait, I didn't even know he smoked, oh wait... (BGP Andy Minsloff, OG DAF head and Rob Dyrdek lensman) After the jam, they showed Hesh Law, I had to get out of there due to P.V.D (Post Video Disorder) but we headed over to Awesome Matt's house and drank Merlot and sh*t. Then his homie Evan unveiled quite possibly the most amazing collection of VHS tapes ever. Not to be outdone Aus Matt pulled out his crown jewel (VHS wise) the master copy of Antihero's F*cktards. He used to work at DLX and Julien gave it to him. Whaa? This video still blows my mind... so good.Sean Young=The Best

So, like the Indy blog said, CranMan and Baby Lamb came by. I think Gravette thought I was going to work on his never ending tattoo I started a while back. I really try and let these dudes know before I tattoo them that it's going to pretty much suck. And you know, the original tat wasn't all that bad, then Gravette decided he wanted all these extras and hit me up at 5 in the morning to get them. It's pretty obvious, tattooing 1/4" breakfast sandwiches while wasted (wasted wasted) at 5am is a terrible (terrible terrible) idea. Anyway, I still think it's hilarious, so much so, I may never fix it. Here, listen to him talk about how much he hates it at the beginning of this 7 Day Weekend... You can also get a good idea of what any given day hanging out with Gravette is like...

So, yeah, it's all over and I'm actually updating this blog from my hot tub... Thanks to everybody that came out to all the Hesh Law west coast premiers. Good times. And a good job goes out to all the team dudes who didn't OD, you know who you are, part of me is happy you're alive and part of me thinks you have problems attaining your goals. Some of my guest appearance highlights include... Guzman-o comin' in hot with Satanic Breakfast Greyhounds at the Sneak Joint... And this, P-stone post-premier, he actually sat like this for a while and all I could think was, "he must be dreaming he's tip toe-ing through a field of beers and burgers"
On a completely unrelated note: I was playing the Gang Of Fourstar video for my kid. The videos keep his attention and he loves Sean Malto (although, I'm trying to get him hyped on Bledsoe). Anyway, my wife comes and takes a peek and this comes out of her mouth, no shit, "I like the Girl guys, there like the clean, cute skateboard team". Real nice wife. Apparently, you've never met Sam Hitz

ALL AGES AT 8 (HESH LAW ONLY)
ADULT TRIPLE FEATURE 9:30

Headed to SD today to make final preparations for the big premier at the South Bay Drive In... See you there.

That's right, Creature United Nations at The Berrics, sure the video will be sick but the Limited Deck that will be for sale in the canteen is a mind bender... here's a little sneak peak... This Saturday, don't miss it!

Get ready minions, Creature vs. The Berrics, this Halloween. 'Til then check out Silent Mike and Sean Conover taking your text requests. Damn, Shitler goes full phantom of the Opera!

Thanks to everybody that turned out for the Rumble. Thanks to Dawes and Ed Dominick for holding so much shit down. Thanks to Myche and Keith for the banner help. Thanks to Friel and Co. for driving stuff down and helping out. Super fun day... The Main Stage, Thanks to you guys too. Hands down best thing about Ramona: Designated Chill in a Rocking Chair Zone complete with oldies soundtrack, goes all night! "You guys think this'll be enough?" 1500 brews await their demise. This chick was there.
Check out Burnett's "Early Rumblings" here.
And keep your eyes peeled for more Rumble news throughout the week.

Thrasher Rumble Re-hype

Not only are we finishing up a video, we're also offering up web exclusive vids...? What's our problem? What ever it is, The Lamb goes for Round 2 at his home park in Issaquah. As I type this he's in Japan, he's probably got some food sickness and trying to 5-0 some monster rail with di-di coming out of his pants. I mean, hopefully.

Hey, if you guys like the vertical pike, you might like this...
Just a heads up...
Paranormal Activity=Total Bullshit
I've had scarier dumps.

CLICK TO WATCH!!

No biggie, just the first/best candidate for Creature Womens Party Division... Navs, Shitler and Al P come tomorrow for the third review in our (seemingly never ending) series of Power Hesh Law meetings. At this point, I don't know if we're gonna end up taking peyote or committing mass suicide, check back on Monday.

The video is... Well, I could say...
a. Killing me.
b. The best thing we ever did.
c. Giving Navs a nervous twitch.
d. Inspiring panic.
I wanna say sorry for the lag to all the people who entered the "Keep Navs Busy" contest. Winner will be announced next Monday. In the meantime, not one of you sent this idea in. It's a pretty obvious one. Take that Shoebox Face!
You guys seen this yet?If I had a nickel for every great slam I had of Gravette... I'd have about 2 bucks. Speaking of the new Thrasher video, Ole P-Stone is coming in today. He said that he needed to drop something off but I'm pretty sure he's coming just for lunch. Can you blame him? Me and Navs are pretty sure that we have some strain of the apocalyptic pandemic that will end the world. It pretty much just consists of steady, explosive diarrehea til you eventually die. Just sayin'. If it's happening to you now you know what it is.

First, shit, I mean, nothing much to say about this, she's just down with the Creach. Also, I don't want to blow anything out but Young Sean Conover's part in Hesh Law is a monster. Exitrealworld just called up Sean for a little interview, click the clicker.
Navs is coming here on Friday for the first in a series of Power Hesh Law Meetings. I hope I can keep him busy. The first person that sends me the best suggestion for keeping Navarrette busy wins this... Winners announced next Monday, judged by The Crow himself.

Ole Al Parts got hitched to his lady Amanda last night (9-9-9) in Vegas. All the dudes were in attendance and as I woke up for work this morning I thought "I bet those f*ckers haven't gone to bed yet". Jealous? A little. Anyways, not only is Partanen only gonna have sex with one lady for the rest of his life he also got the cover of the new Lowcard... Plus a 4 page interview, yeah Al! So let's keep it going Al-wise, here's a couple of Al vids...Congrats Al, you're the best. Anybody sees Navs tell him "I'm over it".

I don't drink it but after this... I might.

Truman just got a CONTENDERS and a RIP CLIP over at the skateboard mag site... check it out......
This Blog was brought to buy Creature dudes who kayak beside killer whales wasted on sparks!

I've never been more compelled to "step into the octogon" than I do checking out my favorite skate sites these days, whuhappun?

A god damn SHITSTORM of new boards just showed up... Farty sez: "these new creature jammies are hotter than the time I jammed that suicide hot wing up my ass"

In hindsight, it's pretty crazy to me that when Joey Tershay called me last week to get Raven in the Coastal Carnage CONtest I didn't think too much of it. And when the SPoT team told me that it was too late for him to register I went on with my day. And when Raven rolled in here and said that Young Tom got him signed up and I got him a plane ticket for the next day, still I mean I was just going through the motions. In the back of my head though I kept hearing Joey T's comment that "he could take the whole thing". So, it was with total surprise and none at all that I heard that our Baby Ray-Ray won the whole god damn thing!!!! That's a lot of god damn cheeseburgers... yeah Raven! Keep your wigs peeled for more coverage over at The Skateboard Mag

On an unrelated note Farty's cat is missing... Sick flyer, he/she should be found in no time...

Fecal Face is one of those webzones that help me get through the day. So, I head on over there and what do I find today but Ole "Jer-Bear" calling yours truly a god damn genius. Backatcha bud! Last time I saw Mr. Fish, we consumed many beverages and basically deconstructed the entire human race. He had just seen this documentary about Ed Roth that blew his mind. I mean, no doubt, dude was light years ahead of his time and influenced millions but did he also basically invent putting graphics on a t-shirt?

I'm so busy over here picking up Novak's dry cleaning and cleaning the f*cking bathrooms there isn't a minute for blogging even when there's something worth splashing over the intermasses. For instance, did you guys know that Sean Conover rides for The Creach now? Well, guess what? Yup. Sean rips. The contract he signed is pretty lucrative (includes a neon green jet-ski) and the kid already got him self a Mag Minute over at The Mag. Welcome to the team Young Conover. Prepare masses, Hesh Law will bite your face.
In other news, Ponts is up in Alaska flying planes in the f*cking tundra... Is there some type of reality show about this kind of sh*t? Navs would know. If not, we got dibs.
Check out this spawn of the Hitz clan... Ezra Hitz... Kid's got deep hesh roots and obviously a pretty great t-shirt selection.
Oh and speaking of great t-shirts, Ole Kram dropped this little gem on me today... If the jpeg is too small to tell, the fingers go in Creature's A-hole. Genius. Out 2012.
If you were to go to IHOP and order the Hesh Law Breakfast it might look alot like this... Actual size of the waffle is 15 feet tall and the syrup is made up entirely of liquid acid.

We just updated the Saints and Sinners mega-micro-site with 4 new video entries, one of which is a special late addition to the tour. Here's a hint: he's from Indiana and has the option to fire me if the tour doesn't go well. Go here for more info and check back on the regular for tales of success and failure.

The Baby Lamb rolled into Santa Cruz last week to put some brews back and take care of some future business. Between you and me, the kid is a mess, seems he can't as much take a piss without getting hurt somehow. I mean, sure, he could drink a 12er and 5-0 a 25 stair rail and roll away clean but he may also simply roll out of bed and need to get 15 stitches to the face, go figure. Anyway, Gravette threw caution to the wind and let me tattoo him... 11 tats under my belt and obviously not getting much better, I mean what is that a camel head on a lamb body? and what the hell is that coming out of his butt?

Highlights of my power 48 hour journey to Hollywierd...
- The 60 year old lady/plastic surgery nightmare asking if we filmed any porn at Rick and Buddy's studio.
- Guzman claiming we could probably see her naked if we invited her inside.
- Cranston rolling a "stunt joint" for 3 hours on set.
- "Stunt Weed"
- Partanen taking power naps at the bar
- Hanging out at the 6th St. zone of the LA resevoir (the part that smells like old piss in a old mayonaise jar) for 4 hours.
- Neil, period.
- Gravette at 2am, bringing ladies to their knees by putting week old puppies to sleep at will.
- Me at 2 am, dropping puppies and explosive tequila farts.
- Being Olsen's Cigarette Caddy while on set.
- Hewitt's euro swim trunks. And Moustache. And old man haircut.
- Putting Olsen's face scar in my wallet.
- The Blood Sluts.
- Can pipes.
- Rick and Buddy
- Hitz explaining how make a "stunt bottle", smashing it on Cranston's head and launching glass into my eyeballs.
- Creature's new "Married Men's Therapy Group"
- Taking off my shoes and achieving the "That smells worse than Boat's feet" award
- Drinking at the hostile and feeling like I was in Germany, surrounded by faux hawks.
- Partanen's back lip over the stairs... deep and shallow.
- Baby Lamb's grass scorpion

Check Lance's blog over here for some shots.

Thanks to everybody who is still down there making it happen, see you soon, I just secured a re-accuring role on Gossip Girl....

I can't commit. I'm re-evaluating our relationship.

Damn, long week...
Couple of big things went down this week. First, Ole Crow hand came up for some serious Hesh Law rituals. No doubt about it, Hesh Law will be earth shattering but what really seemed to blossom was the sequel to the critically acclaimed Butt Country. Navs has really put in the time on the ole "can-cam"... stay tuned for more...
While Navs was here we also had to set up some time have him interview himself for his Slap Interview Pretty introspective stuff. Thanks to Kram for the always impeccable gaffing.
So no sooner did The Vertical Vampire show up than Al P, Gravette, Taylor and Rollo cruised in to film the Brue Killer commercial. See what transpired here. Thanks to Wilson, P-stone and E-man for putting up with my Scorseski. Good times!
So, basically my face was brue-bloated and my liver hurt for days after the crew left, but I did manage to turn up the heat with this relic from the past, only 250 available!

Here's the thing internet people, there are some things cooking over here that I want to tell you about but I can't and it's not like we haven't known each other forever but, you just have to wait, til then here's a picture of Stu, remember him? In other, semi-out-of-the-blue news we threw the First Annual Trifuctya today. The race involved eating 3 hot dogs, downing a can of soda, running around the building and finishing by completing a doughnut. 7 contestants signed up, the thing was damn near a landslide, here was went down... Yup, lips and assholes. Pole positions set... Prize pack was pretty sick, Brue Killer complete, some Chewy art and a Vallely Skateboards helmet from TSG, wow! The Con-man came to win, even Novak was trying to put money on him. Speaking of the preacher guy from Poltergiest, the man himself. I was banking on The Ice man and Mar to blow doors on these fools. But I could tell as soon as Marty put on the headcam he wasn't taking this thing seriously I would have also put money on the newly relocated Heavy Metal Chuck. As soon as he started drenching his buns in Sprite I thought he had something Marty on his way to last place. May I present you with the man of the hour, Joel Ellis, dude is an animal, and regardless of the chest pains he may be feeling now, he killed it, Kobiyashi would be proud my man, don't die. There's a party in Joel's mouth Way to go holmes. In hindsight I think this is where I thought Joel was gonna lose it and either puke or go into cardiac arrest but he totally pulled through like a champ.

The End

We had a hot Lemon Party in the Art Dept. yesterday. Tyler got himself a whole tattoo rig complete with DVD, hosted by Tattoo Tony. Tony made it sound like you could virtually start a tattoo shop with this gun and a cash register. So, that's pretty much our plan. Tony thought we should start by tatting down some lemons. Here comes Ty-Ty with the best most obvious option Kram comes with some tight script Bri-core gets busy with some jailhouse styles I came with a Von Dutch tribute And then Chewy comes in and lays down complete annihilation with this Japanese dragon and basically blew everybody away... If you'd like to schedule an appointment we have a 3 month wait list and we decide what you get tattooed with, not you.

Checking the headlines today and ran into this. Realizing right after I opened it that this is Creature rider Devin Appelo's brother, Taylor... Woah, really so messed up, I don't even know what to say about it. I hope they find these guys and do something to make up for Taylor's face. Those of you in the Portland area, keep your eyes open for a benefit to pay Taylor's medical fees, which are probably in the tens of thousands, so lame.
On a lighter note, Parts sent me this. S.A.D.!! Pretty much best voicemail I've heard in a while. Creature Skillz!
If you live in Jersey and you only buy sh*t from shops that support skateboarding, then chances are you go to NJ skateshop. We teamed up with NJ to offer up this new Union board, only 60 made, handscreened....check it. These boards should hit their shop floor by the end of the week, true fiends should hail the awesome and buy them all...
We're running a Toughest Lemon Tattoo contest in here, results tommorrow...

Hey Navs, when your done making power moves check this car out. I just tattooed Holly from sales last week with a Creature graphic, guess which one and win nothing! Final note: Who ever made this gets a free deck, prove it and the packy is on the way.
Gravette's on his way here, I gotta split before he gets here....

Damn Tay-Tay!

Nice sticker, what's up with those trucks?

Nice custom. What's up with those trucks?

Sweet edit. Finally, this guy gets it!

Rip Rider butters!

Focus Drama!

Tattered.

In an effort show some sort of consistency on this blog I present our second installment of "I work at NHS, who gives a f*ck?" This weeks interview is with Jordan Tabayoyouyayan, he's from Sonoma or Sonora, I'm not sure which, he handles the Santa Cruz stuff here at NHS and could have the best tre bomber at the factory (maybe second to The Bone)... So Jordan, you have this sort of pacific islander thing going on but you totally act like a white guy. What's your deal?
Well lee, I fluctuate like the seasons... In the winter, I morph into this light brown, almost olive color... I wouldn't say I'm olive complected...Maybe an olive that's been dropped behind the bar at Brady's. Aren't olives green? or black? In the summer I turn this dark brown looking color. Kinda like a salamander... Its awesome when I go traveling south of the equator, everybody thinks I'm a local, South America, Hawaii, Jamaica...Some refer to me as the shape shifter of Sonorma.
Great Jordan, you lost me at olives. F*ck an olive.
If you're heading to skate a ditch with Hitz, don't bother bringing your board, Shitler has you covered... Speaking of the Hitman, check his Thrasher Hitlist here.
Hey Marty, check this vid of some straight street scrating. PS I guess we can't say we made it up anymore. And speaking of the Web Dept. Where the f*ck is the web wizard?